"....baby remember my name?"

A line from the musical FAME. I decided to challenge myself this summer. Everyone kept telling me "You need an outlet" (I have been spending the last year at home with my mom) "Do something for YOU." sooooo I decided to audition for our local theater company's summer production of FAME. I have never acted before. I am a trained singer but singing in church has been the majority of my experience. I was scared, but I auditioned. I got a part! Partly thrilled and mostly SCARED TO DEATH, I embarked on this adventure. We have been rehearsing since the first week on June. 2-4 nights per week. Learning my songs wasn't too bad, after all, singing is my 'thing,' but the acting part! Holy Cow. It's hard. I think I have my lines memorized, but then I am told I am emphasizing the wrong word in the sentence/phrase. So then I work on this. Long story short. I am struggling. I am disappointed in myself. I am embarrassed. Thankfully, I realize that in eternity, no one will ask how I performed in FAME. Thankfully, God will only care if I remembered HIS name and if I shared it with those around me.

The power of words. I often use too many. I often forget to think about the tone of my words. Since I have had these issues, I am working on better "word skills." Part of my 'reform' involves holding back. I went a few weeks of not talking to my husband any more than absolutely necessary. I was afraid to tell him how I really felt about something. Last week our kids were all gone for a few days. (of course, Grandma Lucille was still home!) I knew that this was the opportunity I needed to communicate with him and share my heart. I waited....and waited...and waited until it was almost too late. He was leaving for a few days vacation. We had 'the talk' at the last minute and though no 'mountains were moved' or 'epiphany's reached,' we did listen to each other's hearts. Fast forward to today. He leaned over during church and whispered "I love you." And then he told me I looked like a teenager! (giggle!) He isn't strong in the 'giving compliments' area so this was BIG~! My heart fluttered. I felt especially blessed since just the other day our 'talk' involved a talk about my physical appearance. Since it is no secret (from the picture and earlier posts) that I am a little "fluffier" than I should be for my height, this subject is sensitive for me. I am trying to balance my need for self acceptance with his need/desire to see the woman that he married looking back at him. I love him. I know that we are both right. We have committed our marriage to God and He alone is helping us both find the balance we desire. But I am NOT going to lie. That moment when he leaned over and his lips brushed my cheek and I heard his voice in my ear........I felt healing.